Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
