did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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