remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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