Barsexuality is the new black.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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