I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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