Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He shit in the fireplace
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
