quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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