Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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