I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
