part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize