Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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