okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
