Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
