God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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