Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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