I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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