you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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