He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
