it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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