we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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