4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Someone shattered a urinal.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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