Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
