I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
im on a boat
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