so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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