i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
