What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
