Yo dont text me then not text me
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
