My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she told me i tasted like america
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
