I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
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You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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