I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
