Everything about him screamed your future.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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