dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
