summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you inspire me to be a worse person
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
