Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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