Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
