just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize