so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i love accidental penises.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
