Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
