i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
