Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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