She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
