oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
