I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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