So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
from now on my penis is your penis
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
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Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
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I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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