So drunk its hurt
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize