A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
