I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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