...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
