"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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