my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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