If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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