Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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