i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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