we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize