Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
