Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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