perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My ass is underappreciated
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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